Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
