it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Randomize
