Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
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