i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
