Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Randomize