C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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