remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
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