OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
All the doctor said was why
Randomize
