the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
