The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
