Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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