I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
