A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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