she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize