Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
