Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
