Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize