Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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