i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
i would one night stand the shit outta him
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
