is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
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