I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
