You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
i've created a new STD.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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