I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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