South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
