I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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