I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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