omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
