So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Dignity is for republicans.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Randomize
