Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I queefed so loud it echoed.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
