I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize