so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
