I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
he shaved USA in his pubs
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
