Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
