what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Randomize
