would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
