Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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