We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
