she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Randomize
