I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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