does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
