Already got asked if we're dating
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Randomize
