after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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