You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Randomize
