I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Randomize