if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
This is the high leading the old right now
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
