I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
She even gives head with a lisp.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
