His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
