It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
