Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
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