you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
