Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
