Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
