Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
The adults are the big ones right?
try to milk me bitch
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