I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
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