i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
