Kiss
Puke
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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