also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
