i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Randomize
