she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
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