Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
now i know why i became what i already was.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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