Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
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