Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
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