He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
you had me at cake vodka
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
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