what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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