You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Randomize
