From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
