dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Randomize
