I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
