Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
