When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
