She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize