guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
