i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Randomize
