My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
