oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I want to fling myself into the sun
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
