I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
