Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
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