I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize
