party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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