I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
