i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
