CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
The beer is more important than you right now.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
